We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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