then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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