There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
