The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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