her vagine was all disorganized.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
