I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
