I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
