those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
