Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
handjob tips. give me some.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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