He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
