i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
