Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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