your thong is hanging out like whoa
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
