I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
