and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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