Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I forgot wine drunk hurts
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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