I think I died a long time ago.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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