You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
