I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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