dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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