i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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