It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
