i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
