I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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