1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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