You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
