i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
