Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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