we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
