Kiss
Puke
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
