How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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