belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
