Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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