1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize