goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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