Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
