I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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