Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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