Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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