you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
