I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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