in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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