yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
