i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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