The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize