I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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