If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
