Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
