my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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