my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
birth control should be required to get into college
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
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