she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
