just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize