therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
