Me. At least after what I've been through.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
