I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
BRING THE BAGELS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
