Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think your dad took our porno
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
