We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize