Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
