I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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