There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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